It's been terribly long since my last post! Balancing everything as a new mom is not easy and unfortunately my blogging has taken a hit. However, today I felt I had a good enough topic to make the time to write.
My breastfeeding days are numbered, and it saddens me more than I ever thought it would. For some reason, I already had it in my head to stop nursing at six months. Well, first it was let's just make the first month. Then it was three months and once I made this goal I thought, what the heck, let's make it to six months!
Now six months is almost here and coincidentally my hubby and I are going on our first trip around the same time frame. This will be our first vacation without baby, which I know will be a little trying, but it's also my first time to New York City! I'm so excited not only due to it being my first time in the Big Apple, but we're also attending the You Can Heal Your Life Conference ~ New York City. A ton of Hay House authors will be there, including the founder of the publishing house, Louise L. Hay! Going to this one-day conference was my "push present" (get it?) from the hub because he knows how important this area of learning is to me. Plus he is somewhat open to the idea of affirmations and using your thoughts to create your life so it will be a great learning experience for both of us. Attending this event will bring such a huge lift!
But back to nursing!
Since I don't want to bring my huge, pump bag with me on our trip to NYC, and I was already planning on stopping nursing around the same time, it makes sense to stop breastfeeding. I'm more saddened by this than I realized, and maybe it's because nursing definitely didn't start out easy for either one of us. In fact the lactation consultant at the hospital said Brijin was the "worst kid on the block" in terms of her catching onto the whole thing. The kid just wouldn't suck, and it was so frustrating!! For some reason though, I wanted to persevere, so we tried every trick in the book. Once we arrived home, my husband assisted me in using the tricks - think syringe, tubes and nipple shields. Not easy stuff, but we persisted and within two weeks, Brijin and I finally figured out the "choreography" of nursing.
For her first three months, we only nursed or used expressed breastmilk. Even though we've been slowly moving to supplementing more and more to formula due to my supply, I know it's not going to be easy to not nurse her in the middle of the night when she wakes up. Or not do so first thing in the morning. Nursing has been our alone time together: our time to cuddle, to provide security in the middle of the night, and our time to bond. Let alone all the nutritional value.
Change is inevitable, I know, but I think it's good to acknowledge that I will miss this time with my daughter.
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