Are you feeding your good or bad dog?

If you've been reading my blog for a while (For those of who are still coming back, I thank you deeply, considering I've posted four times in the last six months, which I completely blame on the baby! HA!), you're aware of my spiritual journey. I've been making a concerted effort to focus on the blessings in my life versus dwelling in the negative, which has truly made a difference in how much more wonderful my life becomes every day.

But then, (sh)it happens. I get derailed and have a day where everything seems to be going wrong. I just keep focusing and rehashing it and telling the horrible details to everyone who will listen, or perhaps who I force to hear my sad tale. Well, I'm completely guilty of acting in this manner the other day. No matter what I tried, I couldn't let the problem go. It even woke me up at 2 a.m., and considering I have a six-month old who has been waking us up for the past few weeks at 3 a.m., this was even that much more annoying! Yet, I couldn't seem to put the brakes on spewing and stewing about it.

In the middle of all this "static in my attic", as Baron Baptiste likes to say in his yoga practices, I've been reading a book called "Meditations from the Mat: Daily Reflections on the path of Yoga." For every day of the year, it has a quote and blurb while it progressively moves through the eight limbs of yoga. I'm on the sixth limb, dharana, which is concentration. The thought I read today was so powerful for me, especially considering all my "barking" - this will seem funnier once you read more. ;) Promise.

There was a story about a Native American who talked about his internal struggles as being a good dog and a bad dog, and the good one is usually trying to chase the other away. Someone asked him who wins the most, and he said,"The one I'm feeding the most at the time."

I guess the "woof's" on me! Such a strong illustration. By concentrating so strongly on the negative or my bad dog, I was feeding it and growing it, and it was hindering my life (lack of sleep). Plus I couldn't see any solutions by focusing on the negative of the situation. After reading this, my attitude shifted, and it made so much more sense to focus or feed the good in my life. Consequently, the problem that was so major before seemed to fix itself on its own.

So consider your own good and bad dogs today. Being aware of which one you're feeding is a huge first step on the road to a peaceful and joyous life.

The power of now will set you free

"There is no fear of the cycle of birth, life and death for when you stand in the present moment, you are timeless."
~Rodney Yee, YJ's Yoga for Relaxation and Meditation dvd

Armed with two bags full to the brim with at least twenty pounds of books, I ventured to our local-used bookstore. And yes, probably not smart of me to carry so much weight since I'm almost eight months pregnant, but I'm nesting and need to make room for baby! This must have been the first time I actually sold books at this particular store because they totally jipped me.

"Your total trade in is $7.50," said the store employee.

"Uh, so what books aren't you taking?" I inquired.

"That's for all books..." he replied. In my mind I wanted to FREAK out about how they were taking advantage of the process, but then I reminded myself of the heaviness of the books and lugging them into and out of my car. Not to mention how much room getting rid of them would save. After taking a deep inhale, I said, "Thank you" and took my pathetic amount of cash where I spent it times four in the store. BASTARDS! I need to open my own used bookstore, man!

Enough of my self pity, however notice how I practiced presence (kind of) and didn't allow my pain body to show up (if you're reading Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth you'll know what I mean). Let's return to the quote at the top, which I heard in one of my purchases at the used bookstore - yoga dvd "Yoga for Meditation" with Rodney Yee. Even before I began reading A New Earth, I wanted to dive deeper into the seventh limb of yoga, meditation or dhyana. But due to the words in Tolle's book, I am convinced of its power. Here's a quote from A New Earth that really conveys the potential behind being present/meditation:

'"Be aware of your breathing as often as you are able, whenever you remember. Do that for one year, and it will be more powerfully transformative than attending all of these courses. And it's free."'
~ Eckhart Tolle

To make meditation a daily habit (now doing three to five times per week), I'm exploring various ways to instill the practice into my life. This morning I watched Yee's "Yoga for Meditation" and am a bit disappointed it doesn't allow to skip through the various yoga and seated practices Yee includes to get to the specific parts you want. However, if you are just beginning meditation and want to try different seated positions and are looking for a very easy-going yoga practice prior to the meditation, it's a good start.

After practicing the first segment "Mountain" and viewing a few of Yee's seated postures, I ended the practice with "Wind" and "Sky." At the very end, he said the quote above, and it really struck me because the last few days I've begun FREAKING out that I'm not prepared for our upcoming arrival in late spring. Up until a few days ago, I think (maybe that's the operative word) I was doing relatively well staying present and stress free about the whole thing. Yet now it's two months away (or less!), and I'm starting to feel very worried about finding daycare, finding a new car so I won't wrench my back from putting the baby in its car seat within my two-door vehicle, etc.

But what's worry going to do? Both Yee and Tolle reminded me there's nothing to fear, even childbirth, if I remain present ... life will continue to be. Not that I should neglect finding a new car (hopefully not a minivan!) or a daycare or whatever need there is. However, I need to return back to the now with the aid of my breath and focus on what can be done now versus focusing on what I didn't do in the past or about what possibly can't be done in the future. That will get me nowhere but into a negative space.

So take a deep inhale with me in this present moment - "All is well." ~ Louise L. Hay

Below is a brief video (not the same as the dvd mentioned above) with Yee on meditation.

Namaste.

If someone says FLEXIBILITY one more time...

"So yoga's all about flexibility?"

I loathe when people ask me this... sorry Maria (my friend/coworker who attended my power yoga class for the first time Monday night. Apparently I didn't teach a lot of "power" last night if she only felt her hamstrings stretching.).

I believe it was Maria's second yoga class in her life (Another friend/coworker and I took her to a hatha-flow class at a wonderful yoga studio in town called Yoga Gallery.) and was hoping she would enjoy it. She's been a faithful reader of Yoga Mama and requested to come to one of my classes with her friend Angie so I was delighted at the chance to share my passion.

The next morning at work, Maria and I began our IM banter when she asked me the age-old, misconstrued question about yoga that makes me cringe (again, my apologies Maria!). To the yogis and yoginis out there in cyberspace, obviously there is so much more to yoga than the physical postures or asanas - it's only one of the eight limbs of yoga. Yet for the sake of a more simple discussion, let's concentrate on this one limb.

So how did I answer Maria? Probably not very eloquently, but I did find an article on Yoga Journal listing 38 medically proven benefits by Timothy McCall, MD. I probably jumped to the "OF COURSE it's not ONLY about FLEXIBILITY" defense, yet it's so hard to put into words to a person only beginning to explore the power that is yoga.

Once a person begins practicing asanas consistently for a month or so, you begin to notice changes not only in your physical body such as increased flexibility and strength (My friends marveled at my arms after I began conquering chaturangas.). However there are noticeable changes in your mind (Better sleep anyone?) and the interconnection between the two, which isn't surprising since the word yoga is derived from the Sanskrit word yuj to "yoke or bind."

This is really a question one can only truly answer for yourself through the consistent practice of yoga. If I could sum the benefits of yoga in one word, it would be balance. The balance yoga allows you to make: spiritually, mentally and physically. I didn't know what yoga could "do" until I felt how it helped my back and tailbone that wouldn't heal with drugs and physical therapy. I didn't know what yoga could "do" until I realized after a month my depression was beginning to lift. Only until I invested a little of my time did I understand the magic of yoga beyond the assumed benefit of flexibility and this has kept me coming back for five years.

Keep in mind, you don't need to have an ailment to appreciate yoga. All you need is a mat and the patience to keep returning to it and discovering new awarenesses and appreciations within yourself.

Finding Samadhi?

I feel so exhilirated! I taught my 6 p.m. power-vinyasa yoga class tonight and felt the best I have while doing the asanas or postures in a long time. Since becoming pregnant, when I go to my mat, I'm not feeling the passion I used to feel. Maybe it's due to my body not being as agile and strong as it was prior to being pregnant. However, tonight everything was clicking and moving in sync. As I type, I'm still experiencing my yoga buzz.

I wonder if I reached samadhi? It's the eighth limb of Patanjali's eightfold path, and according to Yoga Journal is the "ecstatic or unitive state in which the meditator becomes one with the object of meditation." I was one with my asana practice tonight, which I consider to be my form of meditation (Not to discount "true" meditation. I think asana practice prepares me for it). I didn't allow the "static in the attic," as Baron Baptiste calls it, to get in the way of the postures, but I moved with my body and embraced my breath.

Obviously when I teach it's for the students, but tonight I rode the wave and really enjoyed my practice. Maybe that's selfish, but it sure felt good.

Tell me more about these eight limbs

If you want to dive deeper into yoga check out the book Meditations from the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison. It has daily reflections for every day of the year about yoga and are based on the eight-limbs of yoga and its subsets. Each day Gates, a yoga instructor who trained with Baron Baptiste, takes you through each one with real-life scenarios, quotes and “reflections from the mat.” I checked it out at the library first and because it was so good, I purchased it on amazon.com used for $3! (You know I love a good deal!)

Eight limbs of yoga
1. Yamas (Five moral restaints)
2. Niyamas (Five observances)
3. Asana (Postures)
4. Pranayama (Mindful breathing)
5. Pratyahara (Turning inward)
6. Dharna (Cocentration)
7. Dhyana (Meditation)
8. Samadhi

If you’re at all interested in growing your knowledge of yoga beyond the postures or asanas and learning about the other seven limbs of yoga (you probably know two others and didn't know it - breathing and meditation), this book is definitely a step in the right direction. The chapters or days are also in bite-size pieces - one to two pages per day - so it’s easy to keep returning to it.

I read day 89 (p. 118) this morning after my asana practice and learned about Svadhyaya, which means self study. It encouraged being open to inspiration everywhere and “connecting to the energy you find healing and inspiring.” The author said he was using the movie Gladiator to inspire him and his yoga teaching and writing by watching interviews with the cast and director, listening to the movie score, etc.

I’m ready for inspiration world – I’ll keep my eyes peeled.