Gratitude for 2008

"Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul."

~Henry Ward Beecher

I'm so grateful for such a wonderful 2008!

The delivery of our healthy, happy and beautiful daughter born in May was the biggest blessing received this year, but there have been so many others as well. In fact, too many to count! Thank you God for a blessed 2008 and an even more prosperous and glorious 2009.

Right: Brijin Joy at 6 months.

Are you feeding your good or bad dog?

If you've been reading my blog for a while (For those of who are still coming back, I thank you deeply, considering I've posted four times in the last six months, which I completely blame on the baby! HA!), you're aware of my spiritual journey. I've been making a concerted effort to focus on the blessings in my life versus dwelling in the negative, which has truly made a difference in how much more wonderful my life becomes every day.

But then, (sh)it happens. I get derailed and have a day where everything seems to be going wrong. I just keep focusing and rehashing it and telling the horrible details to everyone who will listen, or perhaps who I force to hear my sad tale. Well, I'm completely guilty of acting in this manner the other day. No matter what I tried, I couldn't let the problem go. It even woke me up at 2 a.m., and considering I have a six-month old who has been waking us up for the past few weeks at 3 a.m., this was even that much more annoying! Yet, I couldn't seem to put the brakes on spewing and stewing about it.

In the middle of all this "static in my attic", as Baron Baptiste likes to say in his yoga practices, I've been reading a book called "Meditations from the Mat: Daily Reflections on the path of Yoga." For every day of the year, it has a quote and blurb while it progressively moves through the eight limbs of yoga. I'm on the sixth limb, dharana, which is concentration. The thought I read today was so powerful for me, especially considering all my "barking" - this will seem funnier once you read more. ;) Promise.

There was a story about a Native American who talked about his internal struggles as being a good dog and a bad dog, and the good one is usually trying to chase the other away. Someone asked him who wins the most, and he said,"The one I'm feeding the most at the time."

I guess the "woof's" on me! Such a strong illustration. By concentrating so strongly on the negative or my bad dog, I was feeding it and growing it, and it was hindering my life (lack of sleep). Plus I couldn't see any solutions by focusing on the negative of the situation. After reading this, my attitude shifted, and it made so much more sense to focus or feed the good in my life. Consequently, the problem that was so major before seemed to fix itself on its own.

So consider your own good and bad dogs today. Being aware of which one you're feeding is a huge first step on the road to a peaceful and joyous life.

The end of a nursing mother's journey

It's been terribly long since my last post! Balancing everything as a new mom is not easy and unfortunately my blogging has taken a hit. However, today I felt I had a good enough topic to make the time to write.

My breastfeeding days are numbered, and it saddens me more than I ever thought it would. For some reason, I already had it in my head to stop nursing at six months. Well, first it was let's just make the first month. Then it was three months and once I made this goal I thought, what the heck, let's make it to six months!

Now six months is almost here and coincidentally my hubby and I are going on our first trip around the same time frame. This will be our first vacation without baby, which I know will be a little trying, but it's also my first time to New York City! I'm so excited not only due to it being my first time in the Big Apple, but we're also attending the You Can Heal Your Life Conference ~ New York City. A ton of Hay House authors will be there, including the founder of the publishing house, Louise L. Hay! Going to this one-day conference was my "push present" (get it?) from the hub because he knows how important this area of learning is to me. Plus he is somewhat open to the idea of affirmations and using your thoughts to create your life so it will be a great learning experience for both of us. Attending this event will bring such a huge lift!

But back to nursing!

Since I don't want to bring my huge, pump bag with me on our trip to NYC, and I was already planning on stopping nursing around the same time, it makes sense to stop breastfeeding. I'm more saddened by this than I realized, and maybe it's because nursing definitely didn't start out easy for either one of us. In fact the lactation consultant at the hospital said Brijin was the "worst kid on the block" in terms of her catching onto the whole thing. The kid just wouldn't suck, and it was so frustrating!! For some reason though, I wanted to persevere, so we tried every trick in the book. Once we arrived home, my husband assisted me in using the tricks - think syringe, tubes and nipple shields. Not easy stuff, but we persisted and within two weeks, Brijin and I finally figured out the "choreography" of nursing.

For her first three months, we only nursed or used expressed breastmilk. Even though we've been slowly moving to supplementing more and more to formula due to my supply, I know it's not going to be easy to not nurse her in the middle of the night when she wakes up. Or not do so first thing in the morning. Nursing has been our alone time together: our time to cuddle, to provide security in the middle of the night, and our time to bond. Let alone all the nutritional value.

Change is inevitable, I know, but I think it's good to acknowledge that I will miss this time with my daughter.